


Everything's Fine

by Violettavonviolet



Series: Tony hurts (Jarvis helps) [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Arc Reactor, Arc Reactor Issues, Civil War Team Iron Man, Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, Jarvis is dead, Panic Attacks, Reality, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Nightmares, Tony Stark Has Panic Attacks, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Ultron is shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22302166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violettavonviolet/pseuds/Violettavonviolet
Summary: "Hey Tony, how are you?""I'm fine Steve, everything's fine."Everything's fine, he repeated whilst the second panic attack of the day and the 13th this week started,"Everything's just fine"
Relationships: Jarvis (Iron Man movies) & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Series: Tony hurts (Jarvis helps) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605337
Comments: 2
Kudos: 94





	Everything's Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is the second fanfic I wrote this week and a lot angstier than the first one. I don't know why I'm in the mood of writing those, but I am, and it's really to that bad. This is a follow up to my last pic, and I think I'm going to make this into a series, so yeah. I just miss Jarvis, I want him back and it is irrelevant that Tony is now also dead, I just want Jarvis Back. Anyway, I'm gonna stop rambling now and present you with this baby;

Tony was in a bunker.  
It’s cold, just like the cave.  
He sinks back onto the hard floor.  
And he waits. 

“Bucky’s my friend!” One last hit with the shield, to his chest and they are gone.  
Tony just lays there, lays there on the cold hard ground, in the darkness that reminds him so much of the cave he laid in a few years prior, and wished that he could answer Steve, wished that he could say, “So was I”, and even though Steve’s long gone and there was nothing left in the cave , bunker, but he, a man in a tin can.  
He wished he could laugh at the irony of this, Captain America, the all American hope, leaving the son of one of his supposed friends, to run away with the murderer of said friend.  
Rationally, Tony knew that Bucky wasn’t actually at fault. That he couldn’t have done nothing to save his parents, but for once in his love Tony didn’t want to think rational, logical,  
he just wanted revenge for his mamma.  
Tony had lost everything now, his hope for friends, for what he thought of as family was shattered, just like the arc reactor powering his suit.  
It reminded him of the wormhole, too. Of the void of deep nothingness, no sound just darkness. Darkness and the stars and the thousandths upon thousandths of battleships just waiting for an opportunity to invade earth.  
He had tried, tried since that damn cave to be better, to protect, not attack.  
He had tried in New York and afterwards with Ultron but nothing good ever came from him so it was only natural for Ultron, his hope, to kill the best thing he ever had, his son and father equally, his Jarvis.  
He played it down of course, what would the others say, ‘Geez, the spoiled billionaire starts crying over a machine.  
After all, Jarvis was only a machine.  
Never. 

He could still remember the time, when Jarvis had sworn, that  
He would always be there for him, Sir.  
Then it had helped him, but now, the words were tormenting him, ridiculing his hope that one day, everything would be fine.  
He didn’t know how to live without Jarvis, sweet, caring Jarvis who talked him out of his panic attacks and cared for him in such a fierce way that nobody but the human Jarvis ever did. He missed Jarvis so much, he was surprised that he was still living. He had considered changing that so many times, but each end every time either Jarvis, Human and Bot, or the memory of Jarvis himself, stopped him.  
But now, that accounted for nothing, because Jarvis was gone, and he wouldn’t ever come back again.  
Nobody would ever know, that he cried and had panic attacks, only to find that nobody cared, pushing him into another one.  
Steve had forgotten Jarvis without a second thought, just like the shield he rammed into his chest, only to leave it behind a minute later.  
The shield was pretty similar to Tony himself, he mused.  
The Captain used it to shield himself, to parade around, but in the end it was just a worthless thing that could be left behind and exchanged for something else in a matter of seconds.  
He took another rattled breath, feeling every single one of his broken rips, and hissed.  
Help was on the way, help was on the way. 

Not long anymore, not long- and everything went dark. 

Tonys eyes shut open, oh god, oh go-  
As his eyes slowly adjusted themselves to the darkness around him, he realized that he wasn’t in the bunker no more.  
The room which only source of light was the soft blue of his arc reactor, was his bedroom at the compound.  
Siberia happened months ago, Steve wasn’t here anymore. Except, he was. Steve was here, the rouges had arrived yesterday and moved right back into the compound, after they had received their pardons. With Thanos being a far bigger threat than anything ever before, the committee had decided that a few minor details could be overlooked in favor of the safety of the world. 

The only thing they had to do was sign the overhauled accords, and not go out in public.  
The government had no regards for Tonys psyche, and he understood, he really did. Thanos was bigger than his personal comfort, so he manned up and hosted them again.  
So what if he couldn’t look at the witch without twitching and searching for an exit, so what if he couldn’t not wear the nanotech for the Ironman suit, so what if he spent so much time down at his workshop just to not see any of them, and what if he couldn’t see Barnes without immediately checking his personal security system, nobody cared anyway, so it didn’t matter really. 

Looking at his nightstand he realized that it was already morning, and the perfect time to take his coffee and disappear in the lap for the next 16 hours at minimum.  
Still shaken from his nightmare, from his reality, he went into the kitchen without noticing Steve already sitting there.  
When he finally did notice, he was about to turn around and damn his stupid coffee before Steve spoke.  
“Hey Tony, how are you?” Avoiding the gaze of his almost but not really killer, he made himself a coffee,  
“Fine Steve, Everything’s just fine.” His hands shook as he grapped his coffee and walked to the labs.  
-everything’s fine-  
He repeated again, and again long after Steve was no longer in sight.  
Everything’s fine, he repeated again while his hands shook even more, and he went into the second panic attack of the day and the 13th panic attack of the week, and it was only Thursday. Luckily, nobody noticed his long disappearances, or if they did, they didn’t care enough to mention it, showing again exactly how much they treasured him.  
So Tony held up the facade, the arrogance and swagger, he thought he could let down a long time ago and played along. 

Everything was just fine, 

Until it wasn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think? Did you like it? Do you want another part?  
> Write your thoughts down below, I love to read your comments, they make my entire day! Stay tuned for tomorrow, I hink I'm going to post another one then.  
> Bye  
> Vio


End file.
